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don't have one borrow a friend's.

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He won, why wouldn't you?

What grass?

Win $5 - Grab the closest book

1. Grab the closest book
2. Go to page 52
3. Type the 9th sentence on the page below.

Win the $5 Hastings Gift Card, if more than 10 people compete we will give away more prizes...

Seems like a waste of ammo

Make this story awesome! Win $10 gift card

Last week my whole family went to a Hanukkah party at my _______'s house in _______. The first thing we did when we got there was open presents. _______ always gives us _______ presents. This year he gave me a(n) _______ and my little _______, _______, a(n) _______.


“_______, _______,” I said, “How did you know I wanted a(n) _______?”


Then _______, my cousins, and I played a dreidel game. My cousin _______ put an empty bowl in the center of the table, and gave us each our own pile of candy for the game. _______ went first, spun a shin, and had to put a piece of her candy in the bowl. I could tell she wanted to _______, but she knew she had to behave. The bowl continued to fill with candy, with most of us spinning shin. Then I spun a gimel. I got the whole bowl of candy!


On the way home, I whispered to _______ that I would share my candy with her, but she had fallen fast asleep.




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Population Control - No stop signs

Eat at Chef Jason's Deli

Due to a lack of intelligence, when we mentioned our favorite restaurant, we misrepresented ourselves, in reality our favorite lunch spot truly is Chef Jason's Deli

Check it out: http://chefjasonsdeli.com/

Home of the Ramchop.

dear Jason, sorry, my bad, they were hounding me for all types of questions and I got confused and overwhelmed, the RamPage is evil.....

Call of Duty: Black Ops

            Video games and children have long been a topic of heated debate since the development and monumentally ground-breaking release of Doom back in 1993. Many people look to this title, more than any other, as being the cornerstone responsible for the influx of first person shooters and the desensitization of the nation’s children. Although arguably one could just as easily scapegoat Donkey Kong for Atari as the first violent video game as the end goal is to murder a giant monkey with a hammer, most do not choose to do so because of the incredibly cartoonish way in which the game was made.

            The big issue with video game violence and children, according to many parents, politicians, and insufferable know-it-alls with nothing better to do with their time, is that the games feature violence that is seen as too realistic and thereby makes the idea of violence “cool” and forces children to want to imitate what they see; monkey see, monkey do. And of course, there is now the new controversy being prostituted by the media and advocacy groups over Activision’s latest release in the Call of Duty series, Call of Duty: Black Ops. Undoubtedly by now, many have heard of this asinine objection to the latest commercial for the game wherein a bevy of celebrities are seen acting out a scene utilizing toy guns and explosives to promote Call of Duty: Black Ops. The most notable celeb, or at least the one taking the brunt of the objections, is none other than basketball juggernaut Kobe Bryant.

            And while Mr. Bryant is not exactly what one would call a model citizen, given his past actions in Eagle, Colorado, he can hardly be held responsible for choosing to do a commercial for Call of Duty. Who wouldn’t want to be associated with the most highly anticipated video game of the year? And while typically I am not a bastion of support for Kobe Bryant, I have to point out the sheer idiocy of the people who are angry with his choice. Kobe Bryant is a basketball player. He is paid to play basketball and to fulfill his endorsement obligations. Additionally, he can choose to do whatever he wishes with his free time, in this case that meant accepting an offer to appear for Activision. In no way is he paid to be a role model to the American public.

            The only reason this is a problem to people is because the American public is obsessed with fame and celebrity status. Yes, I know, I can hear the gears clicking and the mechanized motions of the collective pie holes coming open to refute my claims. But where is it stated that all celebrities are to be regarded as untouchable, infallible, heroic role models for the youth of the nation? I understand that those who achieve fame and fortune, by virtue of being publicly viewed constantly, are automatically latched onto as such and that they grasp the inferred duty of “role model” but why? Whatever happened to viewing parents, grandparents, or teachers as role models?

            Oh, wait, my mistake, we all hate our parents because they are too lazy to do any actual parenting. Work is too overwhelming and time consuming, so if they have a kid it’s best to shove them in front of a TV where they can watch whatever they want and begin to form human bonds to people living in a box that they will never meet, but begin to emulate to the ire of the parents’ own existence. And once Christmas rolls around and the parents are forced to be with their children because the nanny, aka school system, is on vacation, what better way to pacify them than with video games so that they shut up and more work can be done?

            And then the problems begin as the parents find out what kind of video games the children are playing. But wait, aren’t the parents, the same people who gave the child the games in the first place, the people with the money to buy such things, responsible for giving the child the video games they are now railing about? Hmmm. Of course there will always be those parents who say, “I didn’t know that was what the game was about.” Really?! You didn’t bother to do some research on what you were going to give to your child? I would say I find that hard to believe but given how little parents actually care about being parents, it’s actually a valid point. And of course, the parents then want to watchdog and turn games into scapegoats claiming that their children are being damaged and influenced by the violence in video games. Heaven forbid that a parent actually take the time to decide what is beneficial for a child.

            The responsibility for how a child is raised and influenced, as well as what they watch or play, is not the fault of some celebrity who knows nothing of these children and that has been forgotten by most, if not all, parents. There is no reason to raise such a ruckus over a commercial for Call of Duty: Black Ops that uses celebrities to help boost popularity, especially not when everyone knows what Call of Duty is about well beforehand. And while some will still cry that the commercial itself downplays the situation that many troops are still actively dealing with in the Middle East, there is no reason to make this politically motivated. The commercial is there to sell the product, the celebrities are there to attract attention to the product and increase revenue and get a nice payday. If you don’t like something, don’t buy it. If you want to act like a parent, be a parent from the start. It’s not that fucking difficult to figure out.

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Name this movie - $15

Name this movie, and win a $15 gift card from Target!

Genetically Engineered Mosquitoes

An Oxford-based research firm has announced the results of a release of genetically modified male mosquitoes in the Cayman Islands, the first experiment with GM mosquitoes to take place in the wild.

http://goo.gl/8Tm7e

Only at ASU

Do you know this guy?

Avatar vs Pocahontas

Contest: Win Free Haircut

Send us a photo of your terrible hairdo. Send it to page@ramdiculous.com or tag us in a photo on facebook... get your photo to us.

Contest ends Friday.

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2 N. Main, San Angelo, Texas (325) 653 1089

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This week's issue

This week's issue. http://goo.gl/OxRtr

You're half way to the crazy house.

FREE: Lunch with Kent Hance

Ramdiculous fans,

Have lunch with the Chancellor....

The only man to ever beat George W. Bush in an election, it will be free tomorrow @ 1130 am in the CJ Davidson...

dontbetricked.org

www.dontbetricked.org

www.paulann.org

CLASSIC: Hiding FAIL

Failblog

Volume 9, Issue 3

Snake Attack!

During the Ram Band's halftime show at last Saturday's football game, the stadium was unanticipatedly attacked by a swarm of jetpack-wielding snakes. The snake's numbers were reported to be approximately nine-thousand or more. The band promptly took defensive measures against the flying reptiles.

The trumpets were the first to react as they pointed their instruments into the sky and bombarded the snakes with the highest notes that they could make. Unfortunately, this did absolutely nothing and the snakes continued to slither-fly toward the stadium.

Seeing the trumpet's brave display of fortitude, the upper wind section began marching around in circles while their section leader shouted orders at them. By this time, the snakes were directly above the stadium and were shooting fireballs into the crowd.

As chaos erupted within the mass of people, the saxophones stood around and complained about various things such as how hot the uniforms were, how nostalgia isn't what it used to be, and that the specifics as to how magnets function seem to be elusive.

Meanwhile, the trombones moved into a defensive formation and fired flak rockets from their instruments into the sky. This was the first remotely effective strategy, and should be noted in case of future flying-reptile attacks.

The percussion sections became jealous of the trombones and did some spinny things with their drumsticks, but then quickly realized that they're really not as cool as the rest of the band.

After the trombones had exhausted their ammunition, the tubas decided to get together and form a giant robot to fend off the remaining aerial scale-bearers.

In doing so, however, the entire stadium was destroyed and the snakes decided to just go back home. At this time, the total cost of damage to the stadium is unreported, but we can all rest easy knowing that the Ram Band is here to protect our campus, even if that means destroying it in the process.

CONTEST: Strength WIN

If you can do this, you will win a giftcard...

CONTEST: Homework Challenge -- Rickrolled

The computer science student, Reddit user Mayniac182, spent 8 hours formatting his paper into the acrostic Rickroll you can see in the video and the image below.

See video here:  http://goo.gl/MSLi 


Ramdiculous Fans, here is your challenge:  Do what Mayniac182 did in one of your classes, you will win a giftcard by turning in your paper to us.  Good luck

Sneak Peak

If you download the Ramdiculous App, iPhone or Andriod, get a preview of tomorrow's issue.

    

Volume 9, Issue 2

Offspring - If Bella and Roscoe had a kid what would it's name be?

If Bella and Roscoe had a kid what would it's name be?

Don't forget to vote

Vote for homecoming king and queen and sga president. Today before 5.

Timmy's Car

goo.gl/0N1w 

Changing Signs...

Futurama and The Simpsons In Three Pixels

Imagine how much hard work and pain could be saved if they animated the series in three pixels.

Send an email to Jesus Diaz, the author of this post, at jesus@gizmodo.com.

[9gag] via Gizmodo

If you can create something like this for another cartoon, you can win a gift card!

Couldn't find a parking spot.

Group Advising

Contest: Recreate or have actual success

Complete this task for a giftcard!

Texas Tech at San Angelo, it's coming.

Nice Colors!

Who is the King?

Vote

We at Ramdiculous do not support any particular candidate, if you are a candidate and would like your ad featured on Ramdiculous.com, email it to us: page@ramdiculous.com

Vote

We at Ramdiculous do not support any particular candidate, if you are a candidate and would like your ad featured on Ramdiculous.com, email it to us: page@ramdiculous.com

I Hate Hamlet

Cropwalk, but the question is: will there be cake?

Construction Criticism

“Plaza Verde,” that’s what they’re going call it.

They cut down the trees,

Pissed off the birds and the bees.

The grass is gone,

What’s left is dirt—

And I wonder if the flowers were hurt?

Was this the plan, was this the way?

Or did they do it by mistake?

Well, I suppose I must be grateful too—

Thanks for going green, ASU…

Sidewalks, elevator, annoying...

I’ve got a great idea! It’s such a good way to improve all of our experiences on campus. It branches off of this aged thing called “common sense.” Okay, but seriously. It’s about the fact that everyone is always bumping into other people on campus. I have to walk across campus twice a day, and it’s really frustrating constantly running into people. And with the way the university has been chopping up the sidewalks, we are now forced to share some with opposing “traffic.” But to help alleviate this intensely annoying issue, I have come up with a plan. How about everyone stay to their right when walking on sidewalks? You know, the ones where people who are walking different directions are forced to share? This would be most advantageous if put into practice at the crosswalks on Johnson. There is nothing like trying to catch that light while having to dodge other students doing the same thing, but in the other direction. If we just decided to stick to the right, then we shouldn’t have to worry about bumping into people anymore. This also applies to the use of stairwells. If you’re going down, stick to the right, and stay to the right. And if you’re going up, stay to the right and stick the right. Does everyone understand this? One last thing. Elevators. What the hell is everyone thinking?! It’s common knowledge in every other city on earth that when you’re waiting for an elevator, you let the people get OFF the elevator before you rush in. Come on. That’s so annoying. Oh yeah, and ask which floor everyone is going to if you’re right next to the button panel. That’s all I have to say. I look forward to the day where I don’t have to worry about people running into me and vice versa. Hope everyone has a more enjoyable experience on campus.

--Gilly

Volume 9, Issue 1

is this for college students?

Turning Welch's Into Wine In 48 Hours

a tribute to our best writer of all time

for you, Samuel Clemens, you rock.

Awesome Lightshow

It's Friday! One week to go til the first Ramdiculous Page of the year!

The trash is tired.

Tired of eating all the wasted ram pages.

Risk management

Friends, students, Ramdiculous Goons of the world...hear me now.

I attended an at-risk session on August 29th. The guest speaker was a gentleman named Rick Barnes, and he covered the various topics of acceptable behavior and organizational leadership, and the ways that collegiate organizations could be held liable and accountable for destructive incidents. (And he peppered it with humor, making his speech pretty darn effective. But I digress.)

Ramdiculous, as a student organization, participates in and holds various events, where we celebrate our staff, our awesome newspaper, and our awesomeness in general. However, as president of Ramdiculous, I find myself in the position of telling you that Ramdiculous could be held liable by any breach of common sense (i.e. drinking to excess with destructiveness as a result, harming an individual or individuals, assult, destruction of property, et cetera).

For example, Barnes provided a story about two organizational members who drank to excess at a organizational party, then drunk-drove and had an accident resulting in bodily harm to an older couple. The organization was sued, the organization's top officers were sued, and the organization's voting members were sued. The only two members who were NOT sued were the two that voted "No" to holding the party. The rest of the club faces multi-million dollar payouts to the estate of the injured couple.

So if you do something bad in the official name of the organization (i.e. you acted like a normal rational person wouldn't and something monumentally BAD came of it), then you will be summarily dismissed from our ranks. Chairman Seth, myself, and the organization could also be held accountable, and we don't want that to happen. Ramdiculous means too much to us to have its name tarnished.

FYI, dear Goons.

Thank you, and good night from SA.

Parking, ASU's Future

A narrative by Clinton Bippert

Beep! Beep! Beep! The alarm clock next to Mark’s bed blared its wake up call. The sleepy resident smashed his fist down onto the noisy machine causing it to instantly cease. Mark opened his sleepy eyes to read the time: 5:00…AM. With a groan, the first year student rolled out of bed. It was Mark’s second week at Angelo State Univeristy and he didn’t want to be late for class. Sliding out of his boxers, the freshmen dressed quickly, donning a pair of running shorts and a thin shirt in the near blackness. There was no point turning on the lights. It would only blind him on his trip to school.

Walking out of his dorm room, he could see his roommate, Brandon, shirtless and eating a small breakfast. Mark gave a sleepy wave before grabbing a muffin off the stack on the table. Placing it between his teeth, the freshmen walked to his book bag and began to carefully select the school supplies he might need today. While chomping on the stale muffin, Mark placed one pen, one pencil, five sheets of paper, and his History book inside his small backpack for it was Thursday. He hated Tuesdays and Thursdays; his history teacher always required him to bring their book to class. By the time he had finished packing, Mark had consumed the small muffin. He took a swig of juice from the carton on the table next to Brandon before replacing it in their small refrigerator provided by the university.

“I guess we better head off,” Mark commented to Brandon who gave a grunt as a reply. Brandon wasn’t much of a morning person. Retrieving his backpack, Mark pulled the shoulder straps tight before connecting the numerous customized straps that kept the pack secured across his back. Brandon had a different method for carrying his school supplies He slipped into an especially tight shirt with a small pack built onto the back. Man, I have to get me one of those. Mark thought as they made their way to the door, locking it behind them.

Exiting their dormitory, ironically named Bi-Centennial (yet, it stood twenty miles from the spot of the old dormitory), the two roommates joined the long lines of students that were already beginning their morning journey. It would be over two hours before Mark and Brandon would see their classrooms. They started their run relatively slow (a mere eight minutes per mile pace) allowing time for their tired muscles to awaken. The two roommates joined up with a small group of sophomores running together in front of them to add some company for their twenty mile journey. They ran past several other school dorms as their running group moved with the throng of students traveling towards their distant classrooms.

The first milestone they passed was the tram stop at two miles into their run. There was never any hope of getting a seat on it. The line was always stretched impossibly long. People would begin lining up at noon the previous day to get a seat. Tents, chairs, ice chests filled with food, they were essential tools in order to ensure a place on the tram. Mark had even seen a barbeque pit in the line on his first day.

Directly after the tram station was the large parking lot reserved for students with the “B” parking permit. The students that lived in the dorms had nicknamed them “Brothers” as they shared the most of the run with them. The “B” parking lot was a square mile of asphalt. Yet somehow, there was never an empty spot in sight by the time Mark and Brandon passed by it. After the large parking lot, they ran past four green fields all nearly identical except for the large wooden signs that stated their names. Mark read their names as they passed each one: Plaza de el Otoño (Fall), Plaza de el Invierno (Winter), Plaza de la Primavera (Spring), and Plaza de el Verano (Summer). They spanned two miles each along the road side. After passing the massive fields, the group began to pick up their pace (now running at seven minutes per mile).

Their second milestone came at eleven miles into their run in the form of the “D” parking lot. It stretched for two miles down the road. However, the lot rarely had more than three cars in the black square spaced sporadically throughout. The spots were auctioned off to the highest bidder at the beginning of every school year. Only people who were willing to spend several thousands of dollars had a chance of getting a spot. However, no one dared park within its bonds. Several packs of toll trucks, acting like wolves searching for their prey, continually circled the parking lot. Today, a large crowd was gathering near the edge of the fence surrounding it. Mark and the others slowed in curiosity. Apparently, a car had parked in the wrong spot. Several tow trucks had surrounded the small white car as the driver stood frantically off to the side, unable to do anything but watch. Their tow cables were attached anywhere their hooks would attach: axles, bumpers, door handles, even through the front windshield. Suddenly, there was a roar as the numerous tow trucks started to pull against the car. The screeching sound of metal separating could be heard as the car was literally torn to pieces. The ruthless truck drivers hauled the remaining pieces of the wrecked car away to their impound lot, leaving a trail of small auto parts behind them for the frantic driver to follow. With little else to do, the masses soon continued their twenty mile run.

They passed another group of fields. These were only a mile long with their names being Plaza de Carneros (Rams), Plaza de Ovejas (Rambelles), Plaza de Rallo (first ASU president to commission a plaza), and Plaza de la Plaza (Field). Afterwards, the group passed their third milestone: “A” parking lot. It was only three miles from campus. The parking lot, like the “D” parking lot, was two miles long. It was always only a quarter full. More packs of tow trucks patrolled the lot, searching for any vehicle not displaying the massive “A” that nearly covered the entire back window of the vehicles.

Finally, the group slowed to a walk, huffing and puffing loudly as they reached a small group of building containing the administration. Mark leaned forward, his hands on his knees, as sweat dripped profusely off of his hair and chin. Suddenly, a whoosh of air and the blur of blue and gold flew past Mark causing him to fall backwards in surprise. The same event happened every morning around this time, but this was the first time Mark had been so close to it.

For you see, the twenty mile long campus had led to some unexpected payoff. Thanks to the extraordinary long distance, Angelo State’s athletic success had exploded. They were currently national ranked in the top ten every sport and defending champions in both men’s and women’s track and field, cross country, soccer, and basketball. The sudden blur had been freshmen and sophomore athletes passing by on their way to the Junell Multiplex that lay on the other side of campus.

“You okay there?” Brandon asked, offering Mark a hand.

“Yeah, almost got creamed by the athletes,” the fallen freshman replied as he took his friend’s hand. “Let’s just get to class.”

They both followed the crowd as they headed into the large bathroom complex for a quick shower that had been installed at the edge of Plaza de Centennial (the old dormitory had been scraped five years after opening to make the plaza), ready for the start of another day at Angelo State University.

Rainy Ramdiculous shirt day

More game day Ramdiculous Fun

Old shirt on an old man.

Ramdiculous shirt - Game Day